you could kill a man in any of these dresses, and pretty sure no jury would convict you. those are killing-men dresses, that’s what i’m saying
the highlighted area is where Jason Derulo knows what the girls want. london to taiwan.new york to haiti
greenland is right out
ummm no offense but new york to haiti should be measured as the area between the two latitudes, not the longitudes. this graph is incorrect and vastly underestimates the total region of the earth in which Jason Derulo knows what the girls want
Even measuring that way, Greenland remains right out, as does the entirity of Brazil.
Have we considered measuring by neither latitude nor longitude but in all area that would extend perpendicular from the diagonal of the two places?
There are many different interpretations of the data, and until more is available, we ought not conclude anything at this point.
In light of that, I posit this alternative map of regions where Jason Derulo is potentially claiming where he knows what girls want:
As we can see, if we assume that model, the vast majority of the area where Jason Derulo knows what girls want is either open ocean (the Atlantic, the Mediterranean Sea) or sparsely populated (the northern Sahara, the northern Arabian Desert, various desert portions of Iran and Afghanistan, and the southern Tibetan Plateau). Four of the ten most populated countries on the planet have no territory in it (Nigeria, Brazil, Japan, and Indonesia), and two which do have relatively little territory in it (the US and Russia). It is suggested that for all his boasting, Jason Derulo does not know what a probable majority of the world’s girls want.
Perhaps Jason Derulo’s intention was never to proclaim to be omnipotent to the interests of the female gender. Perhaps he was instead expressing his humanity, or the limits of his knowledge. I applaud Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo is not just another 2 dimensional character. Jason Derulo has depth.Jason Derulo has limitations and has come to terms with them. Jason Derulo knows Jason Derulo. Thats why he makes it a point to say his name so much.
girls think having a period sucks but try having to fix your penis discreetly through your pocket
having the insides of your organs shed and come out through your genitals does not compare to having displaced balls sorry
none of you can do it discreetly anyways
we see you
An owl gets inside the house. The Owl Whisperer™ tries to get it back outside again. x
THIS DUDE COMING AT THIS BIRD WITH A FUCKING SWIFFER
THAT WAS AMAZING
oh Jesus Christ. Ooh Jesus Christ. Haha
this is internet gold
this guy is legit human lemon grab
A collection of euphoria.
I have seen hell.
i have stared into the abyss, and it stared back
why are 12-15 year olds so obnoxious they roam in packs and they’re so loud for no reason i can’t wait for one of your moms to pick you up and carpool you all away
When kids point out things you’re really self conscious about
Let’s “cuddle” and when I say cuddle I mean aggressively makeout and grab me everywhere
Dude, I don’t know if anybody told you, but we have this little thing called physics.
I had to reblog this again…
Do not kiss your lover
after he’s shattered your soul,
or text him back
when he wants to be friends.
You do not have to do anything
that anyone thinks you should,
and you do not have to pretend that you’re okay
when you’re not,
no one expects you to be.
So do not tell him
that he broke your heart,
and chances are he does not care
and will not care
when you call him
drunk and sobbing,
it will only get you pity
and you never needed that from him.
Do not think
that sleeping with someone else
will make your heart whole again,
it will not.
And no one
is going to swoop in and save you,
so don’t think you can’t eat that whole pint of ice cream
because you’re worried what people will think of you for it.
You were never not good enough for him
so don’t set your standards lower
and don’t hate yourself
a little bit more because of him.